I just feel this constant guilt that I'm not writing more things down in these golden days of my babies' lives. Though this stage can be so very tiring and exhausting sometimes, honestly, nothing can compare to it's awesomeness. I honestly get a little sick when I think of my boys growing up. I always want imprinted in my mind the way Radcliff's big brown eyes look so deeply into mine, when he comes running into the room yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! Guess WHAT!?" And tells me the "cwalest thing EVER!" He's always been pretty into his mama and it breaks my heart a little bit to think forward to a day when it probably won't always be like that. And my Bear boy... I always want to remember the way his little head looks from behind, when he's sitting in his high chair, scavenging his snacks, only to whip it around at the faintest noise of anyone, and flash us his award winning, snaggle-toothed smile. And then he'll scrunch his face all up, pucker his lips, and do the most hilarious sniffing/breathing episode you've ever seen. It can't be described, so I pray this small description above, can jaunt my memory of it in the years to come. I love my boys so much it just hurts!
It's so amazing to watch them play together all day. Bear only has eyes for Radcliff. It's always been that way. He can be whiny or fussy and the second he sees 'brother', his whole face lights up and it's game over. He's content and he's off to play with the big boys! Bear's favorite thing is to play with Radcliff in his playroom. It's like it's his time to shine, baby! They love playing outside with the hose together. The worst is when Radcliff puts the hose right next to Bear's little face and threatens to spray. He gets this malicious little smile like, "I might just do it..." And usually not, but just sometimes, that little three-year old boy inside, gets the better of him, or should I say Bear, and presses that nozzle straight into Bear's face, and it's as if he got blasted with a fire hydrant. The take-your-breath away face that he gets, and moving of side to side. It's so so sad. And I always just wait for him to start bawling, and I wait and wait, and then nothing. Just a little smirk at brother like, "No you didn't. But... Can we just keep playing???" It's so sad and endearing all at the same time. Radcliff loves to pick Bear up now and carry him all around the house. They're little house travelers and it's just the cutest! Radcliff helps Bear turn backwards to go down the stairs and off they go to the next level of the house together! They play on the bunk beds all day and I'm always keeping an eye out to make sure Bear doesn't climb off the slide when he's almost to the top. He climbs up and slides down that slide for hours. It's hilarious!
Radcliff is loving preschool and doing so well! His classmates range from age three to five, so he's the very youngest, but is keeping right along as I knew he would. I'm so happy he has his little girlfriend, Grey, in his class. I know that is what's making him love it so much. She seriously is so nurturing and sweet with him, which is exactly what he likes and needs when I'm not with him. He told me the other day, "My teachers asked us if we were stuck together." Love picturing them being the cutest of buddies, stuck at the hip. I've had talks with him to make sure he makes an effort to talk to everyone in his class, especially the kids that don't seem like they know anyone yet, and he always says, "Of course Mommy, I can try to do dat." It's been so fun having a little bit of alone time with Bear and also makes me so happy knowing Radcliff's learning so many good skills while he's away! He was soooo ready for preschool!
I was able to break out our big camera, for so much needed pictures of my boys, this morning. I love our lazy mornings together, playing with toys, wrestling, and doing airplane with them! I'm just loving this stage in our lives! As Wren and I were watching them play all night together last night, while we made dinner, he even said, and dare I quote him, "I think we could add another one soon, don't you?" Mhhhh. Food for thought.
Brotherly love and where sharing is caring.
My Everest Bear. I could kiss his dimples five million times and still need more. I'm head over heels for my baby!
And my handsome Radcliff, it hurts how much I love him!
My biggest boy learning to go backwards off of furniture, little lover!
Flyin' planes and drivin' cars. everywhere he goes, since mid 2012.
His teeth! They kill me!
Airplane! Rad also loves Jetplane where he stands on my hands and balances with his hands in the air! I just couldn't capture it, you know, cause his feet were on my hands.
Don't be jelly of my toenails.
And a ride for Bear Boy too!
And then a couple after we were a little more decent...
I'm sitting, or should I say laying, here in St. George in our hotel room, while Wren is in a meeting, wondering what the heck to do with myself. As a Mama who's constantly multi-tasking, whether it be handing someone this, wiping someone's that, or making someone's EVERYTHING, I don't quite know what to do with myself when there's no one around and nothing to do. It's like I dream of moments like this all the time, and then, BAM... It hits you, and it's like, now what? But at the same time, it's really amazing. Like I took a long hot bath, by MYSELF (a rarity these days!), and now I actually have time to write a couple things down. So here we go. Let's do dis, shall we?!
So first, though... Wren's mom is seriously the best. Like the bomb. The bomb.com! She came to our house and has been watching the boys for us to go on this couple day getaway. Wren had a meeting this morning and yesterday morning, both just from 9:00 to noon, so we decided to make a little trip out of it and it's JUST what we needed. We have never left the boys and although I like having them around a million times more than not, it's been the perfect amount of time away with Wren. What's that you say, honey!? I can actually listen!
Yesterday morning, I dropped him off for his first meeting and went and shopped at the cutest store in Cedar City called Recycled. I stayed there for two long hours, just browsing and processing everything I saw (another rarity!) It was pretty close to heaven! After, I went and picked Wren up and we went and got a big Thai lunch and headed to Zion's for the day. We hiked for three hours and talked and talked, and saw a ginormous tarantula, yes, you heard that right. Wren seriously almost stepped right on it, and it was just absolutely awful and the size of his hand (see pic below!) But other than that crazy encounter, it was perfect! We made it to the top of the hike and the view was just ridiculous. Am I the only one that looks at ginormous red cliffs and gets a little dizzy??? It was pure gold being able to have uninterrupted conversation and hiking with Wren! But I did miss my little hiker buddies. We felt like we were cheating on them or something because they would have loved it. For the first hour. Ha! After. we came and checked into our St. George hotel room and went to George's Corner Restaurant for a great big dinner and dessert and than came back to the hotel room and watched Taken 3. What better day could I even ask for? Even though Taken 3 was pretty terrible. As soon as Wren gets back, we are headed the heck home. I'm literally dying to see my babies and have zero idea how parents take longer trips than just a couple days. I need them!
And not that anyone cares, but that time of the month lately has been hitting me like bag full of bricks to the face. With Rad's pregnancy and then nursing him through Bear's whole pregnancy, I'd been lucky enough to not have my period for like three whole, incredible years! Oh the glorious days. But let me tell you what, it's like my body's getting me back for not having to have it for so long. It's like it's saying, "Now listen here little missy, you think YOU (of all people) can bypass mother nature for thaaat long? Hell no. Think again. Because you did this, we are going to take allll those periods and missed PMS's and roll them up into the next three periods and you are going to be sorry. Like real sorry." And wow. Let me tell you what self. I.AM.SORRY.
I'd like to think of myself as a pretty easy going person, but when it's been that time now... Wow. Just wow. I have been a little bit (a LOT bit) crazy. I was having just a downright frustrating day a couple days ago and trying my best to keep my head above water and not kill anyone or anything and to keep as much to myself as possible as to not hurt anyone's feelings (every thought that came to mind could have just been a dagger to most hearts) so reclusing it I was (it's a PMS term I just came up with. Fitting, right?) I had just organized my entire closet and with two little men running my life, well that's an accomplishment in and of itself. Rad and I had been having a fun time that evening, he had been telling me about him and Wren running at the track and how he couldn't run very fast cause he was too hot and thirsty and then we started to wrestle and get silly and he said, "Let's go wrestle downstairs, Mommy", and I said, "Ok, just one sec, I'm going to hurry and put your laundry away and we will in two minutes." Well in those two minutes, he went into my closet just to hide from me, and accidentally knocked down all the shelving units at the bottom where everything was that I had just folded. Still able to keep my cool, I said, "K Rad hop out, it's ok." I was holding one of the little plastic pieces that had once helped hold the shelves together, and then walked into the hallway with tears in my eyes and asked Wren in a very annoyed voice if he could come fix my closet. He replied with a, "Sav, yes, but try to calm down." And you guys. It was like I had fire in my eyes. That was it. That was the one phrase no one should have told me. I think the stare I gave him, alone, could have killed someone. Oh no he didn't. Without even thinking, I threw that little plastic piece at him from upstairs, like so fast and so hard, and I think in the moment I was aiming for his face, and he dodged it and I'm pretty sure Rad saw the entire thing and he has honestly never had to witness anything close to anything like that ever in his whole life, other than himself throwing things at Bear sometimes, lol! I immediately regretted it and felt so dumb but still felt the need to slam every door I walked through until I ended up in the bathtub where I cried and cried. Besides the fact that I just made myself out to be a complete lunatic, I still don't know what the heck I was even crying over. I guess being a mom is ridiculously draining sometimes and then pair it with PMS and wow, it's just a lethal combo. I got out of the tub and went straight to bed even though I wanted so badly to go curl up on the couch with Wren and watch Fear The Walking Dead (have any of you started? Amazing.) But I felt too dumb even though he'd never try to make me feel dumb for it. I love him for that.
A couple hours later, after getting Radcliff to bed, he climbed in and rolled over next to me and tickled my back. I groggily apologized and wished the whole thing could have been a bad dream, just as it felt in that moment. I'm so lucky to have such a sweet and sensitive husband. And one that can patiently put up with a psycho for a couple days outta the month. But the funniest/saddest part of this story was, right when I had hopped my pathetic self into the bathtub, Wren headed up to come help his poor wife, and Radcliff said, "Ooooooooh Daddy. No, No. I don't think you should go up there." Oh man. Poor thing. He was kind of right! I should have just gone downstairs and wrestled.
Well, I hope that story made you feel better about yourselves but at the same time, I'm praying I'm not the only mom these types of things happen to. On our hike yesterday, Wren and I were laughing so hard about it and he was like, "I have never seen you like that!" Good thing that's true. I told him how sorry and embarrassed I was and he said from now on, when that hits me, he'll take the boys that night so we can steer clear of another incident like that. Oh how I love how forgiving him and the boys are!
Well now Wren's back so off to see our babies! Woop, woop!
Life is so good right now. I keep feeling so guilty for not documenting more of it. Radcliff says the cutest dang things all day long, and everything Bear does is too adorable. I wish I could box up all of these precious moments so I could remember them forever! I feel like the first couple months after Bear was born were pretty tricky and getting adjusted to life with two took some time. But now that he is getting a little older, well heck, they're both getting a little older, we have just settled into this fun little time of our lives, I feel like I've timed their bedtimes and naps in such a way that I get to spend a couple hours in the morning with each of them alone, which I love! And when both of them are awake they seriously play together every minute. Bear loves to go into Rad's playroom with him and they'll play in there for a long time. Or we'll go on the deck and eat ice cream sandwiches (Bear gets an apples in his little netty sucker thing) and we'll play with the hose and jump. Sometimes we go for walks to the park or just drives to get drinks and listen to music. I just love being with them all day. They are constantly making me laugh and smile, and if I'm ever having a moment where I'm frustrated or just tired, they quickly bring me back to a happier place. I really could have them be these ages forever. I wish they could be!
Now for a little bit about each of them...
Radcliff. He was seriously born to be an older brother. He is so protective of Bear and always trying to make him happy. He hands him his passy all day, is so good at breaking off tiny bites of his food to give to him, they wrestle and Radcliff is so good at being gentle and sharing his toys with him. Bear started choking a couple days ago and Radcliff started bawling he was so worried about him. He also is constantly saying and doing nice things for his mama too. I made a goal to ride my cycling bike every morning which means Radcliff usually is right by my side watching me. Sometimes it's hard to even finish because I'm laughing so hard at what he says, "Good job Mommy! Wow! Look how FAST you're going!? Are you so tired? I bet you're thirsty. Take a big drink! What's that dripping off your face?" He's hilarious! If he can ever tell I'm bugged he gets a cutest fake smile on his face and says, "I'm so sorry Mommy. Is your face happy? See mine is!" One thing I keep getting more and more grateful for, is how clean he is. He's the cleanest eater and is constantly wiping his hands when he eats. When it feels like all I do all day is feed and clean up, it's so appreciated! He always says, "Mommy. You miss me as a beeby (baby) huh?" I think I've grabbed him one too many times, kissing his cheeks, telling him he needs to always stay my baby. But I have just loved watching him grow up and seeing his sweet little personality develop! He's such a Daddy's guy. He'll say to me sometimes, "Mommy, you can stay in the car with Bearsie, k? And me and Daddy can run in," He loves his one on one time with Wren and helping him take care of and do nice things for Bear and I. He's just good. That's the best way to describe him. He has such good intentions and I'm so so so lucky I got him!
Now onto Everest. My Everest Bear. Oh my gosh, I'm so in love with that baby. And his little body. I swear it was built to mold in to mine, for the perfect hug. Oh, I don't know how I haven't eaten him yet. I really don't. I've heard from so many people that he just has a sparkle in his eye. He's so alert and there's just so much going on in that cute little head of his. He's easy. So easy. He is so busy and the biggest scavenger for food! Oh my, I have to hide what I'm eating and if I don't he'll start shrieking until he gets some. He loves drinking out of our drinks and I swear he'd drink my whole huge smoothie every morning if I let him! He's so different from Rad. Rad just wanted to nurse all day, and wasn't that into food. Bear, not so much into nursing and has wanted to eat real food, since day one, I swear! Ha. His dimples make me weak. He really is too much for me to handle! Can't I just take one bite? He started crawling this week and has the funniest way of getting to and from, he'll kind of slide, then roll over, then sit up and start all over again. He's all over the place and is really into following me from room to room. He's loving his new found freedom! He's obsessed with fans, electronics, dogs, other kids, but mostly just Radcliff. If Rad's in the room, and I'm trying to get his attention, he literally moves his head from side to side, doing his best to dodge me, so he can see what Rad's doing. I love to wrestle him and he laughs and laughs. I love putting my cheek next to his and seeing his cute little mouth and nose and hearing his baby breaths. He can clap and is getting real close to waving. He jabbers mama and dada all day long and I hope he's an early talker like Rad, that was so much fun! He just barely cut his first tooth (one of the vampire ones!) and has gotten through his first round of teething fairly well. Rad got his first at 4 1/2 months and let me just tell you how much easier it's been for Bear getting his a little bit older.
I feel like I always talk about the little boys, and never Wren. But he deserves to be talked about for the wonderful husband and father he is. The three of us are so lucky to have that guy. He is constantly doing nice gestures for all of us throughout the entire day. Whether it's getting up with Bear in the morning and letting him hang out with him while he gets ready for work so I can sleep for thirty extra minutes, sending nice texts throughout the day, bringing us surprises, making me a smoothie in the morning, taking the boys for "guy time" so mama can get a break, leaving work early to see us. making us good snacks, and just spending all of his spare time with us, he's just so lovable! I love him more and more everyday and am so happy we are building this little family of ours together. He makes it all so much more fun! Plus he's pretty sexy too. I want to take a bite outta him sometimes! ;)